Sally, age eight, sat across from her counselor. She had a death grip on the arms of her chair. Her legs swung non-stop. Fear raced across her pretty face.
Why did your mother bring you to see me?
Mom and Daddy divorced and I know why, she replied.
Can you share the reason with me? The counselor asked.
It was my fault. They fought about me a lot. I heard them when I was in my room. I wasn’t good about cleaning my room and doing chores. That’s why it’s my fault.
Sally was not alone. Marilyn thought her parents divorced because she left home for the university. She was always the stabilizing factor in the marriage. A few weeks into her freshman year she received the news of the divorce. She blamed herself and neither parent gave reasons. She kept insisting that she was the reason.
Sally and Marilyn are the sad results of divorce. Many children of divorce don’t have the benefits of counseling. They live with unrealistic guilt.
A divorce court in Tarrant County, Texas will not grant a divorce until the couple goes to counseling for a specified length of time. They are required to attend classes offered by a large Baptist church. I met the counselor. I asked him if he saved any marriages. He gave me a very encouraging report.
I attended the worship service in that church. A young couple sat beside me. I asked if they were members. They shared that the county divorce court sent them for counseling. It saved their marriage and began a spiritual journey. They were now active members of that church.
The young counselor told me saving marriages had become his full-time job. He also recommended Judith Wallerstein’s book, The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce. I have read the book. It is published by Hyperion Press, N. Y. 2000. Do yourself a favor. Read the book.
Blog Editor’s Note: This book is available on Amazon and most likely can be purchased for your e-reader as well.